Holidays...the good and bad

Some people just love the holidays...love family gatherings, love the food, love the fellowship. But not all share that same joy. Some people actually loathe these days and gatherings. For many, there is deep despair over past days gone by.

Many loved ones are found "missing" on such occasions and their reminder keeps some down during such a festive occasion. This next story is an example of despair during the holidays.

Glenda Buchanan's heart aches as she thinks about all the Christmases that have passed since her son, Andrew Brost, died. Cancer took him on Dec. 27, 1990, at age 13. "This will be the 14th year. He has been gone longer than he was with us," says Buchanan. "Even now, 14 years later, when I hear some Christmas songs on the radio, it takes me back to 14 years ago," she says. "I think the holiday season is more difficult because of the family gatherings, and memories."

Later, this report goes on to say that "so many things can trigger thoughts and memories - it could be a smell, a song, anything....every member of the family, including the children, will have different experiences of grief and different perspectives about how the holidays should be approached after the death of a loved one."

Another writing came just recently that speaks nicely to this topic, so I will share it with you. It comes from a devotional that John Fischer sent out:

A friend’s letter this year was full of poignant meaning especially for those who have experienced the recent loss of a loved one. I can only imagine how that loss stings at this time of the season. This is the second Christmas my friend has spent without his wife of twenty-five years. The emptiness was especially hard this year because not all of his adult children were able to come home. He writes:

“I almost didn’t do it. I thought what is the point of putting the tree up primarily for me? Yet sometimes in the quiet, God speaks. As I unwrapped ornaments we have collected over the span of a quarter of a century, memories unfolded. Our very first ornament was a Norman Rockwell ball dated 1979. Ornaments for the kids with the year written on each one including who gave them to us spilled out. Handmade ornaments from friends and even our own family creations begged to be hung on the tree for one more year. The more I unwrapped, the more I remembered, and the more I began to praise God for the joy He has brought in the lives of our family. So much of that joy has been you, our family and friends. In the quiet, the Lord spoke and reminded me of the joy of relationships and what it is to truly love and be loved.”

It’s always a choice we all have. You can curse God for the bad memories or praise Him for the good ones. I’m sure we all have plenty to fill each category. This is a time of memories. Remember the good ones and know that God can redeem the worst of the bad. He’s in the redemption business, buying back our very souls from the clutch of death and despair.

And here’s the greatest part: One day we will be gathered again with all those we love around not a Christmas tree, but around the Christ of Christmas who died on a tree so we could all be there. And imagine the singing and celebration and good times that are waiting to be had on that glad occasion! This is not wishful thinking. This is not fantasy. This is reality, promised by God and secured by His Son through His victory over the grave. These good memories will never fade. They are woven into the network of God’s will and stand forever as a testimony to God’s faithfulness.

Praise His name forever!

So, how does your family celebrate? Are there people who "hurt" in your living room? How about your block, or family at church? What can we do to help them through? What difficult questions these are which take us in all directions. Just knowing that all people grieve a little differently makes the "bar" on this one extremely high. I pray that the Holy Spirit leads you in loving those who are in your circle of influence, that you may be their help in time of need and their love when it hurts the most.

Have a blessed Christmas. Think of ways to do the same for others. Jesus came...on a mission...to love and redeem...do we come/go with any mission?